Untold Secrets
by Izumi's Apprentice
Summary: "I...I thought you knew," the doctor said, a little uncomfortable himself now. "Jenny was-" . Spoilers for "Passion". Rated T for depressing themes.


Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Untold Secrets

Jenny had died. He couldn't believe it. Even now as he sat on the stoop of his apartment building, holding a glass of bourbon. Occasionally he sipped at the alcohol, but mostly it was forgotten and merely a thing for the man to hold on to the way he would never be able to hold onto his precious beloved anymore. His grip tightened momentarily at the thought before it loosened and he placed the cup down beside him. Reaching up with the same hand, he pulled his glasses from his face and rubbed at his forehead before looking up at the night sky. He wouldn't be surprised if the same demon that took his wife so violently, would come and get him at that very moment. He was very much unarmed and in the open. However, Angelus didn't work that way. If anything he would wait a week before killing Buffy's Watcher or another of her friends; he wasn't sure which. If only Buffy hadn't come to prevent him avenging Jenny's death, then this wouldn't be a tragic thought in his mind. It would be a relief knowing that Angelus couldn't harm or torment the group again and Jenny would feel better in the afterlife.

"Drinking alone?"

Giles looked up, eyes squinted slightly. "Oh. Buffy," he mumbled before replacing his glasses onto his nose.

"Where did I hear that it was dangerous to drink alone?" she asked sitting down beside the only father-figure readily available in her life now.

"I couldn't say."

Before Buffy had a chance to respond, a noise from inside Giles' apartment grabbed the pair's attention. Confused, he stood up, unlocked the door and entered, Buffy shortly behind. He reached the phone and answered it, discovering that it was the police who wanted him to come down to the station to officially identify Jenny's body before they sent her to the funeral home. Giles' agreed before collecting his wallet and keys from the nearby table.

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked quietly.

"The station. They...want me to i-identify...her body."

"I'll come."

"Buffy, no. You should-should go home and rest," Giles protested as strongly as he could at the moment, which wasn't very convincing to the Slayer, who looked at him skeptically.

"Giles I'm coming with you, like it or not. I won't leave you alone right now." Sighing, he realized that it would be pointless to argue any further and allowed the teen to accompany him.

It was when they arrived that Giles began to feel nervous, not in the car, not after the phone call but once they were inside and waiting to be escorted to the morgue. He took off and replaced his glasses about five times, counted the Slayer, and continuously wrung his hands together, refusing to look up from the floor the entire time.

"Mr. Giles? You may follow me now," came the controlled voice of a young police officer, leading the pair down the hall, to the left and through a set of double doors that read "Morgue" on the outside. Giles mentally prepared himself to witness Jenny's body once again. His only condolence was that she wasn't sucked dry of her life's blood, or torn into shreds, but that her neck had simply been snapped. Simply wasn't the correct word as any other normal human wouldn't be as able to snap a neck as the demon who did was able to.

A doctor stood by the covered body on the containment unit, hands prepared to pull back the sheet. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I will ever be," Giles responded, noting in the corner of his eye that Buffy chose that moment to look at the floor instead of facing the truth about to be revealed. She hadn't seen Jenny's dead body, hadn't seen the way Angel tortured her Watcher into believing it was a romantic rendezvous set up by his lover in his own home. Hadn't seen her lifeless eyes staring in fear at him despite her lack of breath.

The sheet was pulled down so only a portion of cleavage was revealed in honor of respect to the deceased and the company present. Three sewn marks showed that Jenny had been autopsied by the Medical Examiner, and her eyes had been coerced shut so now her body looked peaceful almost as though she had died in her sleep instead of being chased down by a monster and murdered.

"That's Jenny Calendar," Giles said, knowing they required a full name in identifications. "And she was my girlfriend.," he added quieter than the first. Giles pulled his glasses off with one hand and rubbed at the bridge of his nose with the other hand.

"I'm sorry for your losses, Mr. Giles,"

"Losses? As in plural?" Buffy asked, head shooting up from its lowered position, Giles also looking at the doctor curiously.

"I...I thought you knew," the doctor responded, now a little uncomfortable himself. "Miss. Calendar was about three months pregnant when she died."

Giles stared at the man, unbelieving of what he just heard. His mind was reeling, his reality was crashing, his stomach was twisting and turning and his body was giving out on him.

"Giles!" Buffy yelled as the man fell to the floor, her hands coming out in time to cradle his head from hitting the hard tile.

He woke up in his own bed, uncomfortable because he was wearing his button down shirt still sans the tie and top button as well as his tweed pants. But why? Why hadn't he changed into pajamas before calling it a night? Glancing out the windows didn't give him the answer but his mind began to work again and he was reminded of the events that took place at the Police Station and it caused a shock of pain to shoot through his brain.

Jenny had been pregnant. The whole time they were angry at her for keeping Angel's secret from them, she had been pregnant and she never told him. Probably never told anyone. And now that child was a victim of Angel's cruelness and their carelessness. His carelessness. How scared she must have been, not only knowing that her life was going to end but that the child she was carrying would never have a life to begin.

The tears came then, strong and steady but silent. Giles sat up in his bed and noticed Buffy sitting in a chair near the door of his bedroom. He wrapped his arms around himself to prevent noise to leave his lips in her presence. He was supposed to be her rock, to be her last ditch source of strength, to be her Watcher and if she saw him now, how pathetic it would be in her eyes. He threw the covers from his body and stood up so he could go fix himself a cup of tea in the kitchen and let his Slayer sleep in peace.

Once his tea was fixed and he sat in the darkened kitchen hands around the mug, Giles' tears came again, only less strong this time. He just couldn't believe this was all happening. He felt so useless and pathetic. He could have been a father and it got torn away from him by Angel. No...Angelus was the culprit. He always was and he always would be. There was no hope for Angel now and all Buffy had to do was slay him once and for all despite her heart's resistance. And he knew she would do it now; Buffy told him so herself. She was ready or so she professed. And he was ready to get that monster out of existence, not only for vengeance in Jenny's death and tormenting Buffy and their friends, but for humanity's sake. Angelus needed to be stopped before he caused more mayhem and despair.

Giles took a sip of his tea and cringed realizing that he had been sitting there so long that it had grown cold. His hands raised to rub along his face and into his hair briefly.

"Oh Jenny..."


End file.
